The first presidential primary is still more than 5 months away, but around here it may as well be next week. If you're new to mydd one of the first things you will probably notice is all of the presidential candidate diaries. If you're a long time veteran around here, then you must have noticed the geometric increase of candidate diaries. It's been quite a flood. People either promoting their favorite candidate, or bashing their least favored or posting horse race information and analysis. In either case, if you're planning on joining in on the fun there are some rules that you need to follow. For now I'm just going to go over the rules for commenting. I'll post a candidate diary diary[sic] rules soon.
All of these rules are based on my recent observations. I don't know what happens if you break these rules, but that's because i've never seen anyone do it. Therefore, I assume that the punishment has to be bad. Like forced-to-look-at-pictures-of-Dick-Chene y-naked bad. That or some other torture that violates "quaint" geneva convention treaties.
Before going further, it will be easier to learn the commenting rules when you figure out where you stand in the Presidential primary standings, or, as I like to call it, your posting personality. This is because, depending on who you are supporting, your commenting rules vary. So if you figure it out now, you don't have to learn as many rules on commenting in the candidate diaries.(Work smarter, not harder!)
Determining your posting personality
First of all, are you going to be a Hater or a Worshiper. If you're not sure which category you fall into here are some ways to tell. If you would use the words "Lieberdem", "Centri$t", and "[Evil business lobby] shill" to describe any of the candidates then you might be a hater. If you would use the words "transformational", "movement", and "progressive" to describe any of the candidates, then you might be a worshiper. Of course, you could always be both, then you'll have twice as much to post about. You can be a Hater, worshiper, or both. For instance, a Hillary Hater and Edwards worshiper is a very popular combination. Then again, Obama Worshiper is also a popular stand-alone option. One Exception though, if you're a Hillary Lover, then you have to be an Obama Hater -I really don't know why this is.
Always use one of the following phrases
Now that you know what category you fall in, you'll have to use certain words when talking about who you're loving or hating.
Edwards Hater
If you're an Edwards Hater you cannot post a comment about Edwards without mentioning one of the following(in order of preferable frequency):
Obama Hater
If you're an Obama Hater you cannot post a comment about Obama without mentioning one of the following(in order of preferable frequency):
Hillary Hater
If you're an Hillary Hater you cannot post a comment about Hillary without mentioning one of the following(in order of preferable frequency):
Other Hater
That's just sad, how can you hate on someone who doesn't even have a chance, anyways?
Edwards worshiper
If you're an Edwards worshiper you cannot post a comment about Edwards without mentioning one of the following(in order of preferable frequency):
Obama worshiper
If you're an Obama worshiper you cannot post a comment about Obama without mentioning one of the following(in order of preferable frequency):
Hillary worshiper
If you're an Hillary worshiper you cannot post a comment about Hillary without mentioning one of the following(in order of preferable frequency):
Other worshiper
Didn't anyone tell you that they don't have a chance to win?
Before going out into the world of mydd comment threads. Let's take a look at some practical examples and some diary specific rules. Some diary comment threads have some additional rules.
Let's look at a Pro-Edwards diary. If you're an Edwards Hater, you mention his Iraq War authorization vote- no matter the substance of the Diary. If you're an Obama worshiper respond by saying that Obama's position is better-even though it's not. An Edwards worshiper will then respond by saying "no it's not" and then say that's why Obama isn't expeirenced enough. You two will then exchange personal insults until you both can agree that Elizabeth Edwards kicks ass! Finally, If you're a Hillary worshiper, just hang back and enjoy the fact that the top 2 "movement" candidates are fighting each other while you continue to run away with the nomination.
One additional rule, if it's a front-page pro-Edwards diary and you're an Obama or Hillary worshiper bemoan how Mydd has become an extension of the Edwards campaign.
Next let's look at the posting rules for a Pro-Obama diary. The Obama Haters will quickly go through all 7 of the Obama Hater posting rules quickly-no matter what the diary is about or says. If you're a Hillary worshiper, follow the lead of the Obama Haters, but also throw in a quick jab about how Obama is falling in the polls-whether he is or not. Finally, if you're an Edwards worshiper mention that anything Obama can do, Edwards can do better. Like in the Pro-Edwards diary, you and an Obama worshiper will then exchange personal insults until you both agree that at least they're both better than Hillary.
If it's a Pro-Hillary diary... duck! The Hillary haters will quickly fill this diary out with free trade rants and Lieberdem accusations. If you're an Edwards or Obama worshiper, agree with the Hillary haters, and then add that your candidate would never do that-even though he has.
If it's an Anti-Hillary diary and you're a Hillary worshiper ignore the context of the diary and talk about how Hillary is winning. Also throw in that Bloggers are out of touch and irrelevant. Finally, dismiss the whole concept of a "movement".
If it's an Anti-Edwards diary and you're an Edwards worshiper accuse the author of: being a troll, right-wing shill, MSM lackey, being an alias for annefrank.
If it's an anti-Obama diary and you're an Obama worshiper then... FLAME the insolent fool that dares stand in the way of the new progressive movement leader!!! If you have time, also accuse the author of working for the Hillary campaign. If this is a front page diary, then yell at Jerome for secretly working for the Edwards campaign or some other wild accusation. The wilder, the better.
I think that about covers most of the rules for commenting in the threads about a democratic presidential candidate. There is a whole additional set of rules if the diary is about a poll, however, we'll save that until tomorrow. I will leave you with one last, but very important rule and then a poll just for fun.
The Final most important rule is...
UPDATE I know I said an update would come today, but It's going to be delayed 1 day until wednesday. I want to make sure I gather ALL of the rules when commenting on a "poll" diary ;)
If you're a worshiper, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS, accuse the Worshipers of other candidates of always making excuses for their candidate and making reckless personal attacks against your candidate. You must ALWAYS do this without the slightest bit of irony in your tone.
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